Tap Into Your Potential

"I believe fervently in our species and have no patience with the current fashion of running down with the human being as a useful part of nature. On the contrary, we are a spectacular, splendid manifestation of life." -- Lewis Thomas, M.D.

People succeed because they reject to concentrate on their limitations, but instead decide to concentrate on their strengths and on their capacities.

Therefore, one of the steps for building self-confidence is to: Concentrate On Your Strengths Rather Than On Your Weaknesses.

In this article I do not like to offer the type of Pollyanna advice or support the kind of thoughtless ideas that one hears from lots of inspirational speakers. They often inform us that we are magnificent, that our opportunities are infinite, and that if we only believe in ourselves we can achieve anything. We are not magnificent in every way, we do not function without some restrictions, and simply believing ourselves as all-powerful will not make ourselves so.

When we say to our children that they can achieve anything they desire, we sometimes destroy their self-confidence instead of increasing it, because when their wishes do not come true, they think that there is something wrong with them. It is harsh to tell a tone-deaf boy that he can become a great tenor, or a girl with a below-average IQ that she can become a doctor.
 
However, it is not unrealistic to tell our children that God created them and thus they are very important, that within them lay unused and powerful resources, that they are far more potentially than they are really. The positive thoughts are for the most part correct: we do carry within us the opportunity of changing the world by changing our viewpoints, and they are right to talk of the unbelievable capability of the human being.

In the last book Einstein wrote, he criticized the fact that only a small part of his potentials had been used. And Admiral Byrd, who was the first person to fly over the North and South Poles, once said: "Few people come anywhere near exhausting the resources within them. There are deep wells of strength that are never used."

The Inner Filter

However, if God has actually created humans with such beauty and honor, what holds so many people from using their capacities? It is often because we become obsessed with our imperfections instead of viewing at the entire picture. A beautiful girl is getting ready to go out on a date. It happens that she has a pimple on her face this week. Does she see all the good traits that would make most objective spectators (such as her date) to look at her and say that she is pretty? No, she notices only the pimple. And if the guy she goes out with tries to praise her, she tends to take it as simple flattery, or worse, as a lie.

One of the oddest things I notice is that people who doubt themselves frequently cannot accept praises or accolades. One would assume that if people have low self-confidence, they would be willing to accept great compliments. But if it is the other way around: if their self-perception is off and they hate the way they are, they will not be talked out of that self-view, regardless of what people try to say. When someone criticizes, they hear every single word, but praises drift over them.
 
Here is the way it goes. We seem to have an internal filter that accepts only selected information in. You hear only the compliments that fit to your belief system. For example, you believe the following things about yourself:

" I'm pretty good at math."
" I'm poor at sports."
" My IQ is about average."
" I see myself as fat and pimply."
" I've got a beautiful face but a terrible figure."

When new information comes towards you, it is run through this filter. If it conforms what you believe you are, then the filter allows it in. If someone says: "You're very good at Geometry," that's allowed in, and you acknowledge the person for the remark, since the compliment fits to your view of yourself (I'm pretty good at math). However if someone says: "You're sure looking nice and trim," that is screened out, since your internal picture is of someone with a terrible figure.

Get Rid of Comparisons

There is another variable that makes us obsessed with our weaknesses: we tend to compare ourselves with other people. There is possibly no other practice that breaks away at our self-confidence so effectively as the practice of searching the people around us to check how we compare. It is as if we have a radar dish on our foreheads, continually scanning to see if someone else is faster, tanner, or smarter. And when we find that at times someone is, we are frustrated and depressed.
 
The foolishness of building our self-estimate on comparisons is that it places us on a roller-coaster. Maybe we are feeling quite good about our appearance one day, and we happen to be in the company of someone with strikingly good looks. All of a sudden we feel horrible and want to vanish. Or maybe we know we have above-average IQ, but we find ourselves at dinner with people who are even brighter. Then every single word that comes out from our mouths sounds like intellectual mud.
 
Several of us grew up with older siblings who we dreadfully sought to imitate, but certainly we were doomed from the beginning. For regardless of how hard we tried to draw near, we happened to be smaller, clumsier, and dumber than they were. And when they mocked us - as all older brothers and sisters do - we learned to criticize ourselves. In many instances this became a permanent practice.
 
But God did not create us to be like our brothers and sisters or anyone else. We are totally distinctive. We are the outcome of 23 chromosomes from our fathers and 23 chromosomes from our mothers, and geneticists say that the chances of our parents having another child like us are one in 102,000,000,000. The mixture of characteristics that comprises us will never be duplicated. If this is true, and if it is true that we are created by God - an original by a master artist - it makes the discovery and improvement of that distinctiveness an item of the highest priority.
 
Our main principle is not reduced when we find ourselves with people who are better musicians or more famous or wealthier. Nor is it heightened when we happen to be with people who are less talented. We have worth quite distant from the existence of any other individual. We have worth because we are all unique in our own special ways.
 
Giving Your Best

"There is dignity in work only when it is freely accepted." -- Albert Camus
 
All of us have limitations. The technique is to find out which ones can be improved, then get to work on those and stop thinking about the rest. For instance, some of us will never be as good at math as others. But what's important is to stop kicking ourselves when we are not quick at math problems and develop the talents we are gifted at. Jesus' parable about the talents has, as its unavoidable conclusion, that the division of talents in this world is not our problem. Our duty is to take the talents with which we happen to have and passionately parlay them to the highest possible attainment.
 
There are two good reasons to do your best.
 
Firstly, when you give one hundred percent, you are happier. Remember back to when you were at school. Remember what it felt like walking to school, on those days when you had done all of your homework - and done your best. Didn't you feel just a bit more enthusiastic?
 
It doesn't matter whether you've been out of school for fifty years, the "homework principle" still applies. Your teacher told you to work hard, your parents told you to work hard, bosses tell you to work hard - but you don't work to please parents and teachers and to keep your boss off your back. You do it for you.
 
Secondly, the universe has a way of punishing laziness and arrogance. Enough things will go wrong in your life - and work - without you giving a half hearted effort. When we get casual, things start to collapse. Ask the boxer who underestimates his opponent. Ask the businessman who underestimates his competition. There's a word to describe doing it your best shot every time - it's called professionalism.
 
Have you ever noticed how some taxi drivers make a trip a pleasure, and some make it a pain? Same repetitious job. So where's the difference? Happy cabbies have a different philosophy. One may say: "But good cabbies give good service because they're cheerful." No! They're cheerful because they give good service.
 
People who enjoy their work wake up saying: "Today, I am going to be more effective and more caring than I was yesterday." They don't always hit the bull's-eye, but it's their aim.
 
Is it important that we have as high IQ as most, or that we do not have limitations? No, the important thing is that we are giving the best we can with what we've got. Instead of getting obsessed with our limitations, we should capitalize on our potentials.

In a Nutshell
 
You give your best not because you need to impress people. You give your best because that's the only way to enjoy your work.

On the next page I will explain why you should Aim For Personal Excellence.