Shying Away from Passive Behavior Boosts a Woman's Chance of Escape
Learning to survive an attack is not only traumatic for many women, if often feels like it is going completely
against the grain. Many of us still feel the urge to be polite and employ passive behaviors, especially when we are
dealing with people that we do not know well and find ourselves in an unfamiliar environment. However, if you ever
feel like you are under the threat of attack, listen to this instinct. Even if you are wrong, it is always better
to be safe than sorry, especially in the case of potential attack. Here are some ideas to keep in mind that can
help you move beyond passive behavior to taking an active role in your health and safety.
Got the urge to be polite? Resisting the urge for everyday behaviors
Let us say that you are not under the appearance of any threat, but you have a feeling in your gut that tells you
otherwise. This is your instinct, telling you something. Yes, there is always the chance that you may be
"imagining" something, or that you are merely on edge, but do you really want to take that chance? Many women still
feel the urge to be polite or to downplay their instincts. If you find yourself in a bar, at a party, or wherever
you may be, and you find yourself feeling threatened by someone, don't be afraid to get away from them as soon as
you can. You should discard the urge to be polite, no matter how difficult this may be. Follow your urge to stay
safe, instead.
Feeling paranoid? Fighting back feelings of indecision in a crucial moment
Another common type of passive behavior that many people engage in is the feeling that they are being paranoid, and
usually overly so. While there is always the chance that you are being paranoid, it is best to err on the side of
caution. If you are not sure, it can help to get some kind of second opinion from someone you can trust. If you are
truly at a loss about something or someone that you perceive about a threat, ask a trusted friend for their
opinion. But again, never be afraid to trust your own instinct.
Learning to say "NO"
One of the hardest things for many people to do is to be forceful, especially with strangers or people they don't
know very well. Let us say that the guy at the bar won't stop hitting on you. You are probably flattered at first,
then slightly annoyed, then really annoyed. If you have made it clear that you are not interested, don't be afraid
to give a very forceful no. Predators may often seek out people who appear indecisive and not in full control of
themselves. Avoid leaving any doubt in their mind that you are not interested, and make it clear that you are in
full control of your person.
Avoid situations where you are not fully aware of your surroundings
This is where a night of too much drinking and carousing can be a problem. Drinking excessively causes you to lose
control of your surroundings. This makes you much more vulnerable to attack. In the mind of a predator, a person
who is relaxed, laughing and who appears to be having fun may be sending "mixed signals" when they reject advances.
This is, of course, is a disturbed way of reading a situation. Predators will often justify violent actions by
pointing to the presence of passive behavior, and taking advantage of it. Avoid this kind of thinking by remaining
in control of your body and staying attuned to your environment.
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