Lady Daters Beware – How to Avoid Being a Victim of Date Rape
Ladies, whether you are going on your first date with a man or your fifth, it is important to take the proper
precautions against date rape. There are many statistics floating around regarding being raped by strangers and
people you know, such as a date. A higher probability exists for women being raped by someone they know. Just
remember, on the dating scene, trust should be built slowly as it has to be proven over time. The first line of
self defense is protecting your backside, leaving yourself a way out should things get a bit sticky.
1. Inform someone you trust about where you will be and at what times. Provide your cell phone number, email or any
other means of communication for you. Tell a close friend, parent, roommate or trusted individual where you will be
on your date, who you are meeting and your estimated time of return. Proving this information means the police will
have a starting point should something happen to you.
2. For the first few dates with a new guy, always meet in a public place and do not allow them to pick you up at
your place of work or residence. Should things get dicey, you do not want them frequenting your work place and
conducting drive-bys of your home. Also, by meeting in a public place, you are avoiding possible date rape, if that
is the man's ultimate intention. Rapists want isolated areas where they are less likely to get caught so do not
consent to that "romantic stroll" through the park unless you are absolutely sure about the fellow you are
dating.
3. Arrange for your own transportation to and from dates. For a while, do not allow him to pick you up from home or
work. Set a prearranged location for your date and always carry enough cash should you need to take public
transportation like a bus or cab home if you are stuck and want to get away. Each person is different so you will
have to trust your own judgment as to when it would be ok to have your date meet you at your home.
4. Be open and honest with your communications in regards to sexual boundaries. If you are not comfortable with how
fast a date is trying to go with intimacy, say so right away. Do not act coy or try to crawfish to spare any
feelings. State directly that you do not want to do something and stick to that directive. If you waffle on the
issue, it would likely not take much for your date to press harder.
5. Hone your skills in identifying dates that try to further the relationship too quickly such as saying "I love
you" within just a few dates or try to press for sex before you are ready. In interviews with victims of date rape,
most of the women said that their dates tried to push the intimacy issue rather quickly, becoming overly familiar
while not picking up on the cues they gave them to slow down. When a date does not respect the boundaries you set
for yourself, it is time to move on quickly and separate yourself from the situation.
6. If your gut feeling says something is hinky, then trust it. Women's intuition has saved many and it is not
something to dismiss, thinking date rape or some other assault will not happen to you. When you do not feel
comfortable with a situation, find a graceful, non-confrontational way to end the date with you leaving alone and
not followed by your date.
7. Always carry your cell phone with you, particularly on your person in a jacket or pants pocket when on a date.
If you feel you need to leave your date, you can excuse yourself to the bathroom and call a friend to conveniently
"bump" into you in public so they can help you leave. You could also call the restaurant, movie or other place
where your date is occurring and have yourself paged and then pretend to be surprised by the "news" that you have
to leave due to an accident, family emergency or whatever plausible excuse you may come up with.
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